Y’all know I type and publish most of my posts on the go right? My job is one that involves a lot of walkabout to meet people and a lot of talk talk to convince folks. That’s not the gist for today. In fact, there will be no Monday Humor post today. I’m not even close to that mood.
That’s how I was jejely going on my own o, to see client 1. The conductor said “wole pelu change yen oo!” As I did not have change, will I now come and go and kee mysef away? I entered and the Bobo collected my 500 note and refused to give me change. As if I was the only one that gave him 500. When it was my time to alight, I did, and the mischievous man flung 400 Naira at me and his driver zoomed off before I could say “Otapiapia”. The 50 Naira was actually not the problem, only that I had planned my itinerary such that I was with the exact amount of money it would take me to get to all my locations. Chai.
I Sha moved on to like nothing happened even though I was pained by it. Taking people’s money makes one a thief, and no one likes to be stolen from. *long hiss*
As if that was not enough, enroute my penultimate location, I had to board a bike. I asked the aboki mallam if he knew the place and he said yes. Ngwanu, we were going on our way to the kain location when we had to enter a road through a corner. Due to the harmattan dust, a woman was wetting the roads with water and she had overdone it in some areas as they were quite waterlogged already. Oga Okadaman decided it was the very same place that was waterlogged that he would pass. “Igbagadam!” That was how we both fell in a pool of black water. I was already seeing red at this point and I know that of I had opened my mouth to say anything, I might have wounded someone with my words. The water-pourer woman was there too and I honestly felt a slap coming out of my hand if I didn’t check myself. She brought the same water and my aboki mallam, apologizing profusely in a mix of broken English and Hausa, proceeded to clean up most of the mess that was on me actually, since it seems my left leg broke the fall of his bike. I just remained mute and allowed him do his thing. That was how all my baffing up this morning was in vain. Smh
I was hoping that would be the end of the series of unfortunate events that wanted to welcome me into February, but lo! Aboki mallam didn’t actually know where he was taking me to! After we went in what seemed like unending circles and asked about 3 people for directions to no avail, I gently asked oga Okada to drop me so I could find my way myself. I eventually did and successfully completed my business in that area. I had to go home straight. The pains from my “accident” are only just getting to me and before I finish this rant, at least let me have something beneficial to give to you: some advice. If you’re going anywhere by bike, ensure that the person taking you actually understood what you said and knows the way to your destination.
Imagine me, going out this first morning of February with a smile on my face and a spring in my steps, only to return with mud-spattered sneakers and looking generally frazzled and smelly. Everything and anything that tries to tamper with our joy this February ehn, Fayaaaaa!!!
Have a great week, friends. I hope your day goes better than mine did.
Body nor be firewood – Nigerian proverb
90s chick; nerd, humanitarian; lover of life, family, fashion, food, art and literature; Christian by birth and choice. In short, I’m like jollof rice: you’re gonna love me. 😉