Monday Humor : Who Did It?

I apologize for the recent dearth of posts on here. I’d been having problems with my ancient laptop, and just yesterday, it finally crashed. Typing on a tablet for long periods isn’t fun, but it will have to do for now. So, here goes.

Like I said in this post, years back, Mother was the CEO of a thriving restaurant in one of the commercial hubs of Lagos: Yaba. Those were the good old days yo! Coming home from school everyday, we usually had a wide array of food to choose from as we lived upstairs and the restaurant was downstairs out front. This was a great memory to dig up, but it isn’t the reason for today’s post.

So, on this particular evening, business over for the day, some of the staff were busy cleaning, some were washing up plates , pots and pans, while some prepared ingredients for the next day’s business. Mother had just finished counting the day’s proceeds and gave a satisfied sigh. It had been a very good day. The meat delivery guy, Kazeem (how the heck can I still even remember his name? Lol) came in, loaded with the next day’s supply of meats. Mother paid him, loaded the meat into the freezer, and went to close up the shop front, leaving the back open for staff . She came in to make some calls when she stopped short: the money she kept on the table had disappeared! She raised an alarm and summoned all her staff. They were the only ones with access to the back entrance. “Who Did It?”  Everyone denied vehemently. She quizzed up, and quizzed down, swore, begged and threatened; all to no avail. Everyone was searched, including their bags. No show. The shop environment was turned upside down, but apparently the money had grown wings and flown away in 5 minutes.

At the end of work everyday, the atmosphere around the Shop was usually a light one, full of playful banter being exchanged among the workers in loud voices amid raucous laughter. That day, everyone went home in a sombre mood. Madam(Mother) had almost cursed the thief, but just said resignedly, “Let God be the judge.”

We perceived immediately she came in that something was terribly wrong. We didn’t know what it was, but we could tell that she was spitting mad, and as wise Nigerian children, we gave her a wide berth. Nigerian Mothers’ slap nor sabi English.

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Fast forward to the next morning. Activity in the kitchen usually begins long before the local muezzin’s call to prayer. Mother opened the freezer to sort the meats for the day’s cooking, and Lo and behold, a thick wad of notes was wedged between the freezer wall and a bag of meat, Nnamdi Azikiwe’s face staring back at her unblinking.

Hearing her recall the incident recently, she says “I thought I was dreaming until I actually held the frozen money in my hands!” Apparently she had dumped the money in the freezer while keeping the meat, and almost gave herself hypertension looking for it. Smh. How can you be the drummer and the dancer at the same time? Lol.

The workers came in that morning expecting to see a sour faced boss, but she was in such a jolly mood that they got suspicious. After the early morning rush, she called them and informed them that the money had been found. The rest of the day took on the look of a mini celebration.

So, Who Did It? Apparently the freezer did it. Or was it Mother? I leave you to judge.

I hope this at least put a smile on your face in these difficult times.

Kisses, hugs and kulikuli, 
Sincerely, Chibugo.

I never saw a piece of paper with so much worldly power as money. It’s ridiculous. –  Chibugo

Sincerely, Chibugo

4 thoughts on “Monday Humor : Who Did It?

  1. Lol @ “Nigerian Mothers’ slap nor sabi English.” Indeed!

    Ah! Searching for inanimate objects can be so frustrating. Yes, the freezer did it. I am glad this story had a happy ending. 😀

  2. Misplacing stuff like that can be very funny, especially wen you know that you cannot ‘flash’ it with your phone to know its location.

    My first and only suspect was Kazeem, so when you revealed where it was found, i was as surprised as your mother might have been when she opened the freezer and found the wad of cash cooling off…. I can’t believe I actually exclaimed “Ewo!” over here.

    Hahahahaha!

    1. Real “Ewo” Oh. That must have been her exclamation when she found it too. Searching for stuff is veeeeeery annoying, I tell you. Hahaha. Thanks for stopping by!

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