Just pretend today is Monday and read my post. Life happened, and before I knew it, Monday was over and the Monday humor post was not up. Hope I’m forgiven, and I hope you get a good laugh too!
So, ;D. As some of you must have guessed by now, I’m a naturalista. Well, that’s what they call us who wear our African hair in its natural state without processing it to permanently look straighter or less nappy. So, yeah, I move around with a great Afro sometimes. Being natural has taught me to take better care of myself, not just my hair, but my whole body, inside and out. Its led me to become my own manufacturer of products. In fact, most of the products I make to use on my hair are edible, so edible that I sometimes get jealous of my own hair. Imagine a blend of bananas, avocados, with honey and yogurt! Yummy! Just when someone else thinks I’m about to drink a smoothie, I slap it on my hair in the name of deep conditioning! LOL.
It happened that this day was wash day for me. Any natural in the house will know what that means. You have to arrange your schedule so that nothing interferes with your regimen or makes you rush it. In fact, for some naturalistas, this day takes on some kind of ritual. This happened to be one of those days when I’d rather be doing any other thing but washing my hair. So I delayed till evening and ended up rushing so I would get other things done. I was almost done but I couldn’t finish up without deep conditioning, so decided to compromise by not doing anything too complicated; just olive oil and honey. I was supposed to leave it in for just 30 minutes, but in the spirit of true laziness, I fell asleep waiting for the time to elapse. At some point I must have woken up because I remember making myself more comfortable on the bed.
It wasn’t long before I felt a crawling sensation all over my body, especially around my head! I stayed put in typical lazy fashion, hoping it would go away, but the very next minute, I had to jump out of bed! I was being attacked! By ants! They were everywhere; on the bed, pillow, floor… you get the picture. By the way my head and upper torso were on fire. How they stung! In the middle of my frantic dance, in a moment of lucidity I remembered putting my honey and olive oil mix in my hair and I wanted to sob. That must have called the ants forth. As I attacked them back, killing as much as possible and getting the place into a semblance of tidiness, those on my body kept up their affair. What nerve! My last thought before I desperately dived into the shower was that this must be what we Igbos call Isi Mgbaka. LOL.
I believe I will never fall asleep with deep conditioner in my hair. Ever. Again.
Every time I see an ant, I gain some perverse pleasure from squashing them to death. I won’t be made a victim again.
An ant may well destroy a whole dam – Chinese quote