Monday Humor – Busted!

I hope you’ve all been enjoying the holidays so far, despite the fuel situation. Eku enjoyment. How many of una travel go village? Hope country life dey totori una o. Life is too short not to enjoy your holidays biko. Yes its a public holiday and you’re all chilling at home with your loved ones, but a little laugh never hurt anyone, right? Lately I’ve been reminiscing about my uni days and my escapades as an undergrad student (which really aren’t much, but make me shake my head a lot of the time). I’m terribly glad I have the ability to laugh at myself in many situations oh. Abeg hypertension cannot come and kill me on top de mata. I wonder how one person could have been in so many hembarrazzing situations in one lifetime. Anyway, I obviously survived them all, so here goes.

While I was in uni, I was what you could call a triangular student. The three locations I was always likely to be found were class, church, or the hostel. I had this really serious facial expression that when people were able to finally get to know me as a friend, they wondered how someone’s appearance could be so deceiving, because despite my seriousness, I am a fun person, really. I just didn’t play around with my studies. My papa nor send me come school to play.

People would always describe me as serious, focused, churchy, efiko(I wish), upright, echetaram echetaram. I was(still am) that kinda person. Someone said she liked to come to the hostel tap to fetch water whenever I was there because you could be sure that everybody would use their turn and not jump the queue because I would be ready for you! I had people saying “good evening” or “good morning” to me right from first year and always wondered why, until I realized it was my serious face. Chai!

Anyway, on to the mata wey carry me come today. That was how this particular day in my third year, there was a birthday party going on in the hostel lounge. I had been studying all day and I was tired. As I decided to come up for air, since the music from the lounge was quite loud, na im the dj put one beta jam like that. Here’s a little secret about me: I’m a really good dancer(especially where no one can see me. lol). Yours truly stood up to the occasion and began to dance her heart out. Chei! I dance ehn, soteey sweat full my body. There was no style I didn’t dance that day. You know how you dance without inhibitions when you feel no one is watching? All my craze was let loose that evening into the dance. When I had used dance to exorcise all the demons that usually gather in my head after long hours of study, I was finally satisfied with my little exercise and decided to go to the hostel canteen to get myself a drink. As I passed by the lounge, I saw that the place was full to capacity and people were standing around. They were all over the place. I wondered the big babe that was celebrating this time. As I got outside, I saw that there were even more people gathered there. But here’s the weird thing. They were looking at me! And some were trying hard not to. Alarm bells were already going off in my head. I paused first to gauge the situation. I know I am not bad looking, but my beauty is definitely not enough to make these people stare at me like this. I just jejely continued my waka down to the canteen, and guess what I discovered! My window! The darned thing was closed, but the curtains were all open! My room was on the ground floor, so you should know the implication of this discovery by now. The whole world had just witnessed what I call my “craze dance”! My heart started going gbigidim gbigidim gbigidim. I was frozen in place like this for some seconds

before I got myself, closed my open mouth, and kept moving in typical Chibugo style, trying to maintain my composure like nothing happened, while in my mind, this is how I was:

source

How would I show face again and still be taken as the serious and efiko Chibugo they all knew? Ah! Mogbe! *hands on head* My own yaff finish! I made it back to my room without any mishap other than a few open stares and laughs with pointing fingers. It was not a small something and I’m glad I survived it. Oh boy! Imagine all the babes with their boyfriends and all the chykers who we derisively nickname Ogos(Inlaws in Igbo) watching me in my moments of madness without gate fee. Smh. Shame wan almost kee me that day. Thankfully no one that knew me very well was among the crowd that evening. Praise Master Jesus! I for no hear word till I graduate. On thinking about it later, I realized that I should be glad I was fully clothed while doing the dance, if not,…..*faints*. You know how we can like to wear next to nothing in the dorm rooms, all in the quest to be comfortable. Hehe. Chim mu anya. *beats chest* My God is awake. He wee not let such evil befall Him pikin.

Fin

I hope the story above made you laugh off life’s stress. A reader suggested I request other readers to contribute stories to the Monday Humor column, to enable some variety. I quite agree. So if you have funny personal stories you would like to share, do send it in an email to bugovidase@gmail.com.

Dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt. Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.– William W. Purkey


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