Danfo Diaries episode 3 : How to survive Lagos traffic : Shop!

Happy new month my people. Like play like play, this year has gone halfway. Don’t beat yourself up if like me, you’ve still not been able to achieve your personal targets for the year. One day at a time, na ein sure pass.

Now to our danfo series. Today’s post is quite interesting. One thing I love Lagosians for, is their ability to turn every disadvantage into an opportunity. You see, seated in traffic, you’re bound to think of the many things you’d rather be doing with the hours you spend flattening your buttocks in that rickety bus. Now the hawkers have transformed the highway into a kind of market, teaching commuters a means of fighting bus-lag: shopping!

Took this photo from atop Cele Pedestrian bridge. Thought I would die standing there, but obviously I didn't. Eeek.

You will be astonished at the number and variety of things you can buy while in traffic. I admire the ingenuity of these hawkers who have turned this menace of traffic into a means of livelihood. You gotta applaud that. Have you ever helped a hawker bring down his/her wares from its cranial perch? Believe me when I say these guys carry their shops on their heads. That, coupled with constantly having to dodge speeding vehicles and greedy, violent touts, is no mean feat. Everytime I come across an honest road trader, I say a silent prayer that he/she moves to a higher level. That kain suffer no be here oh.

Like I was saying before I digressed, the variety of things you will see to buy on the roads are fantastically diverse. If you think I’m exaggerating, oya check out this list I wrote while stuck in a late evening traffic coming from the Cele-Okota Link bridge, inwards Ago Palace Way; my usual route😉

1. Gala, chinchin, other snacks

2. Soft drinks and water(they go: “Botu water lacasera minira! Botu water wazo wazo! i.e : fifty naira each. Hehe. Street code)

3. Apples and grapes(I bought some)

4. Mirrors of different sizes (don’t ask me, it’s what I saw)

5. Portrait sized pictures of Jesus

6. Hot water flasks (eh?)

7. Chocomilo cubes(I got this too. It’ll get Kiisa off my neck when I get home)

8. Clocks (really? Chei)

9. Full Plantains(you read correctly)

10. Ankara materials

11. Groundnuts, walnuts, chips (all ye hungry passengers)

12. Bread

13. Fresh vegetables (well, they looked fresh)

14. Children’s pyjamas (I kid you not)

15. Books

16. Jewelry

17. Rat killer. This one got me. Rat poison? Really? After feeding my eyes on all that awesome merchandise, na rat poison wan help me close market? Lol.

Still, I would rather give my money to these guys than to the beggars who hang around waiting for you to give them money for nothing. Your limbs are intact, your sight and speech are good, and you expect me to pay you for being lazy. Gerrarahia mehn! Many of them are robbers masquerading as beggars just to get you to wind down the Glass  of your widow before they strike. It doesn’t matter whether you’re on a bus or in your car. Please be careful, especially at night. That doesn’t exclude the hawkers who abscond with your change, especially when traffic begins to move and they know you cannot get down to give them a hot chase. Ndi oshi.

That said, it’s time to reveal the weirdest thing I’ve ever bought while in traffic: stockfish.  That’s right. Stockfish. The thing do me like nollywood film too. I’m not too surprised though, someone confessed to me that she had once bought almost all the ingredients for her pot of soup while in traffic. My people, I Kent. Lol.

Tell me your own experience down below in the comments section. Make my day too!

And keep being Awesome while at it!

Kisses, hugs, and fresh tomatoes,

Chibugo.

 

 

13 thoughts on “Danfo Diaries episode 3 : How to survive Lagos traffic : Shop!

  1. So na only these things you don see for traffic…If i tell you wetin i don see ehn, you go bow…i don see footmat, bedspread, pillow, christmas tree, e remain small i for buy land for traffic.

  2. Pillow, wall art, wall papers!!!! lol One day I and my colleagues were stuck in traffic and we were jokingly ”setting up” for the night with our eyes while in traffic. Nne, you will find all you need in traffic. Sleeping bags, pillows, ankara to serve as duvet, food to eat, brush for your teeth the next morning, sponge and soap even breakfast. Na land remain!

    1. Hahahaha.! This should be the comment of the day! Seriously though, person fit buy land ooooo. You never can tell what marketers could come up with. Lol!

  3. LOL! So on point.

    For me the most shocking was a dead Grass cutter “Bush Meat”. (Not in Lagos state though)

    It is also not advisable to purchase Jewelry, gadgets or mobile phones in traffic … There is a 99.99% probability of purchasing either a stolen product, imitation or scrap.

    Bugovidase kedu, it’s being a while … 🙂

  4. LOL! So on point.

    For me, the most shocking was a dead grasscutter “Bush Meat”. (Not in Lagos state though)

    It is also not advisable to purchase Jewelry, gadgets and mobile devices while in traffic. There is a 99.99% probability of purchasing either a stolen item, imitation or Scrap.

    Bugovidase kedu … It’s been a while 🙁

  5. Ah Chibugo, your sense of humour is like an ice-cream cone on a hot day! XD

    I feel the same way, I’d rather give my money to the enterprising traders who brave the heat and smoke polluted roads to work hard for their daily bread, rather than some of those beggars who request for money with a sense of entitlement.

    I once heard a joke, Lagos is the only place that someone can leave their home naked, enter the car and arrive at work full dressed in a three-piece suit. Everything can be purchased on the road side from socks to cuff-links.

    Gotta love their hustle!

    The weirdest thing that I bought in traffic was one of those Hausa trad caps, the seller convinced me to buy it and I did, even though I had no need whatsoever for it.

    Great post.

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