Hello brethren and sistren. How are you doing? How market? Mummy and daddy nko? Your siblings nko? How is fuel in your area? Haha! Sharrat to my Yoruba elders. They can ask about even your neighbour’s dog. Hope the month of May has been treating you all well.
Some time ago, while taking a break from work, I was browsing bellanaija and a comment on a post caught my eye. Not just the comment, but the fact that it had gathered so many likes. The summary of what the commenter wrote was that “All men cheat. Its not about whether he is a pastor or a thug. It is an inherent thing in men”. I was horrified. To be honest, when I saw that, plus the fact that some other commenters concurred aggressively, even citing life examples, for a while I began looking at all men with suspicious eyes; my father included. Lol. I nor know who send me message, but after a while and a little research, I knew it couldn’t be true. In fact, common sense dictates that generalizations are never a good idea.
However, I came up with some interesting information and I leave it to you to determine which is fact and which is myth. I will state my opinion though.
1. 100% of men cannot be mentally monogamous, in that they are biologically programmed to assess the sexual attractiveness of every single woman they see.
My take : I think this is correct. This doesn’t usually translate to actual cheating, methinks. Feel free to prove me wrong, I beg.
2. Cheating men still love their wives, they just cannot resist a second slice of chocolate cake.
My take: is it just me or just this sound really stupid?
3. Men cheat because of strong sexual impulses and the need for variety.
My take: CHINEKE! Variety? Food is a need. Water is a need. Sex is not a need, my brothers and sisters. It is a want. Strong sexual impulses can be controlled, or, wait, you think women don’t have strong sexual impulses too? At this point, lowering of inhibitions is what really makes someone with this excuse to finally cheat. Little wonder a study directly linked alcohol consumption with promiscuity. Alcohol lowers inhibitions.
4. Infidelity is a choice: I agree. The same goes for fidelity.
5. Matching patterns is wrong:
I agree also. Just because 3 men you know have cheated on their spouses, and you’ve been cheated on twice, and you’re surrounded by baby daddies, doesn’t mean that the remaining three point something billion men in the world are cheats. It can be painful to be on the receiving end of such a terrible thing, but I don’t think generalizing solves anything.
6. Men can go about impregnating women left right and center, but a woman can only get pregnant every nine months maximum. That is probably the reason they don’t cheat as much as men.
😂 : My take: I laughed so hard at this and I knew I had to share. It just sounded ridiculous and funny and the same time. Couldn’t laugh alone.
To be more serious though, generalizations such as this are very dangerous. Not all men cheat, and not all women cheat. On the flipside though, what do you think a person should do if she/he discovered his/her spouse cheating? Stay, or leave? Would YOU stay or leave? What even makes someone decide to cheat? I mean, if you thought this person was so awesome that you had to spend the rest of your life with him or her, why stray? Isn’t there a less scandalous way to take care of marital frustrations? Infidelity is far deeper than I choose to jokingly portray here, but I deliberately decided to limit this post because I wasn’t sure I had any right or authority to delve any deeper.
Awon mummies and daddies, aunties and uncles, brothers and sisters, boyfriends and girlfriends, sidekicks and main chicks (dodges bullet), neighbours and gateman, make una put mouth for this matter oh. This one pass me, to be honest. Married people, joor, put mouth for the matter. Epp our relationship ministry. Biko nobody should come to “haks” me jamb kweshon on my BBM or whatsapp as to whether I’m about to marry or sontin. Ees nor your bizness. Lol.
Don’t tell me boosit, don’t call me boosmeat, eranko is a hanimal dat don’t haf sense I’m a human being you can’t dispute it
If you cannot give me sontin, don’t tell me notin, eranko is a hanimal dat don’t haf sense, I’m a human being you can’t dispute it – Cobhams ft Falz ; Boosit, 2016.
If you haven’t heard this song I quoted from above, you need to. It’s a song with a message, and hilarious too. It’s for those who make promises or vows and renege on them, be they husbands/wives, pastors or politicians. Boosit is the Ibadan adulteration of the word “bullshit”. Search and download, and tell me what you think! While at it, have a swell weekend!
90s chick; nerd, humanitarian; lover of life, family, fashion, food, art and literature; Christian by birth and choice. In short, I’m like jollof rice: you’re gonna love me. 😉